The “Crown Their Ass” game gives way to something more like “Better Them Than Us,” a worthy title for this post — or to give it the ol’ Rocky and Bullwinkle alternate post treatment — along with “Scha-den-freu-de Suuu-per Char-gers.”
Come, Bears Nation, lets let the hurt of a now 2-7 team, one foot out the door towards Los Angeles, shield us from what has been and what could have been.
And now here’s something we hope you’ll really like…
Like the moose pulling a lion out the hat, Jay Cutler provided the type of game Monday night that was wholly unexpected yet it was the kind of thing we can expect only from him. Cutty’s 345 yards and two touchdowns on 27 of 40 passing made for a successful a game as he’s had in his current uniform. Still, he threw a pick-six though and for most of the game he looked as uninspired as ESPN’s decision to pair the Bears and Chargers in early November.
While hurdling Sid Luckman team standards late in the game, though, Cutler managed to string together two great fourth-quarter drives against a completely gassed San Diego defense — the first drive ended with Cutler connecting with Martellus Bennett for his 138 thrown score, a team record that he improved upon with 139 going to Zach Miller in the following drive — only that tight end’s first NFL touchdown in three years.
Cutler made his two-TE set look dangerous and he blazed a smallish opposing defensive backfield with Alshon Jeffrey for 151 yards on 10 receptions. Meanwhile, Jeremy Langford carved up the Chargers almost at will, making it easy to forget temporarily about who he’s an understudy for. Langford combined for 142 yards of offense (72 rushing) while scoring one touchdown and a two-point conversion.
During the night’s broadcast, ESPN put up that Cutler has more go-ahead TD passes in the fourth quarter (12) than anyone else in the past three years, it is also to be noted — as Jeff Dickerson does here — that Cutler has 161 turnovers since 2007, second to American treasure Eli Manning.
And no conversation involving the two-time Super Bowl-winning Giant should be concluded without mentioning Monday night’s losing QB, Phillip Rivers, he who some hours ago turned his defeated face up to the heavens and allowed his visage to take its place in internet meme immortality for the rest of 2015 thereabout.
That image, the lasting one from Monday night, the kind that comes from being sacked twice by Lamarr Houston while trying to engineer a come-from-behind drive that was more unlikely than Melvin Gordon remembering that its better to run around blockers and not into them, as he once did to great effect in Wisconsin.
You got to feel for Rivers. Maybe he wouldn’t have been any more successful in New York, where he should have played out his career — if he hadn’t got traded on draft day because the Manning family wasn’t feeling San Diego with either palm — and been roadkill for two more Patriot Super Bowl wins, but if he was a Giant today he’d likely be first in the horrible NFC East and a dull face-off between Eli and Cutty is something not even ESPN would dare do as a lead-in to Scott Van Pelt.
Eli and Papa Archie knew it prior to the 2004 draft, Denver knew it in dealing Cutler to Chicago and Cutler knew it when from out his behind he pulled out another final quarter surge in an old multi-use stadium in Southern California that may have likely hosted its final prime-time football game.
Better them than us.
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